I started getting around early this morning with the hopes of being at the hospital by 11. I wanted to get a flu shot today as I'd finally found an option with the quadrivalent, preservative free shot - If you want the better coverage of a 4 virus shot, go to Walgreens and ask for it by name :)
Unfortunately, there was some paper work issues getting my flu shot setup, so it took just this side of forever for me to actually get the shot.
I finally made it to the NICU about 11:45. It seems like her nurse is never there when I get in the room. I'm so used to one on one nursing care, that it is disconcerting to have such an absence in that environment. She was desatting a bit when I arrived, she does that a lot... it scares me. I was relieved when her nurse arrived to help.
I got to meet her nurse, Rachel and she was very nice. I wore a mask again and I think she might think I'm crazy. I'm going to stop bringing milk in and start storing it here. I've created a lot of little bottles. On an up note, her next feeding she's up to 3ml, so they are beginning to ramp her up to her "full feed" of 14 ml every 3 hours (if I remember right). They are going to fortify my breastmilk with human milk fortifier (a type of formula). I'm working hard to be OK with that. This is the reason formula was invented. She'll need the extra nutrients... This isn't what I dreamed, but it is what I have to work with.
I pumped enough fresh to last for a little while and a bit more went into the freezer. Then I got to hold her for a couple of hours. By which I mean she was carefully and quickly arranged on my bareskin, braced in place and covered with a couple of warm towels. I then sit very still and shift between trying not to bother her and reciting children's stories. Every once in a while, she high sats, which gets her oxygen turned down (yay!) then, occasionally, she also desats, and sometimes tosses in bradycardia. Watching all the numbers drop is terrifying. The fact that it is no big deal to the nurses is also terrifying. I'm watching my baby's oxygen drop and no one comes running. Then I'm sitting there, alone and her heart starts dropping too... it is terrifying. I wonder if it is too early for Kangaroo care. There has to be a less scary way to do this...
Right at the end, before we put her back in her incubator, she started crying. She's a loud, loud tiny girl. She wanted everyone to know she wasn't happy. We got her snuggled back into her space lying on her side, which seemed to help.
On an up note, I get a FLOOD of feel good hormones while I'm snuggled up with her. It is amazing. So far, I've crashed back down off of those hormones a few hours later, which is pretty painful.
The doctor/NP who saw Baby Girl never did call with an update today.
Height: 12 3/4 inches (32.385)
Weight: 1lb 9oz (down 1 oz) 708.73 grams
Pump Total: 513 ml (17.1 oz)
feedings bumped to 3ml, the second to the last 2ml feeding had a .4 residual, not bad...
Pooped at 8pm-ish
Kangaroo Care - 1.5 hours
CPAP 5 - 24% or so O2
Phototherapy is off
Day Nurse: Rachel
Night Nurse: Megan