Book Fairy

My shift to book fairy began 2 years ago when I read Dr. Barry Prizant's "Uniquely Human". I loved everything about it and how it illustrated the attitudes our family shares about our Autism. I loved it so much, just before Christmas break, I gave it as a Christmas gift to both my son's Gen Ed and Resource teacher. After break, and throughout the rest of the school year they gushed over how much they loved those books and if I found anything else, please share.

So, at the start of this last year, I handed out the same book to his 2nd grade teacher and new resource teacher. Which is when I learned not everyone would appreciate the gift (they never even opened the books). I hold out hope that one day, they will open those books and it will change their world view. (Our Gen Ed teacher graded my son on his disability rather than his capability. Last year was a pretty disappointing year). That second grade year, the resource teacher that wouldn't crack open "Uniquely Human" told ME to read "The Explosive Child". She said she had read it and used it with her son. I got the audio book and listened to it and I was HOOKED.

We immediately started implementing at home, and since she had recommended it, I asked her to use the techniques at school as well. Ends up she didn't grok what she'd read, and continued to pursue a largely Skinner based behavior intervention plan that was failing. At this point, I'd also started reading "Self-Reg" and had come to the conclusion that the whole school system needed to change it's mind and heart when it came to how it perceived a kid having a hard time.

Seeing that I wasn't getting the kind of buy in I was hoping for from the resource teacher's current knowledge, I bought her a copy of "Lost at School". As I walked into the school to hand it to her, last year's resource teacher came running up and gushed "What have you brought now?! You find the best books I still love that book you gave me last year!". I let her take pictures of the books and gave them to this year's resource teacher. As far as I can tell, it joined a pile along with "Uniquely Human" somewhere in her house. (This lead to me sending increasingly desperate shorter materials for her to review including specific podcast episodes, the educators walking tour, some of the written one sheets, etc. The moral here is you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make em drink).

The reaction from last year's resource teacher got me thinking. I realized the two that had the best response were coincidentally given just before a school break. Then I hatched my plan. I created a special part of my household budget for book purchasing and saved and to start, I bought 9 copies of "Lost At School" and "Self-Reg".

Just before Spring Break, I gave a set to my son's after school care, another to his OT, 2 sets to the Special Ed department at his school, a set to the counseling department at school, a set to the school principal (totally given up on the GenEd teacher). I also gave copies to both sets of grandparents (though one prefers to receive kindle versions and wanted "Raising Human Beings" to use it with her less explosive grandkids as well). Copies went out to his BCBA and RBT as well, because I adore them and they adore books :)

A few weeks after Spring Break my son started having a really hard time, I continued to send weekly missives on a more humanistic approach based on Dr. Greene's model, things continued to go down hill as they used behaviorial approaches that ignored the internal motivations such as ignoring him when he exploded (his explosions are panic based, so and ignoring them heightens his reaction). Then the school psychologist called about shifting him to a center based program because the behavior they were seeing was so intense.

I explained my frustration with their continued insistence on using a Skinner based behaviorism approach when it was obvious that a more humanistic approach was the appropriate course of action based on decades of research. We agreed to assess at our IEP transition meeting at the end of the year. Building on what I knew, about people I brought the remaining 3 sets of "Lost At School"/"Self Reg" (I used to bring chocolate, but I'm low carb now and books are better anyway). I had written out a 9 page document on the concepts in the book and how they should apply to my son, along with a version of the BIP based on the Positive BIP in the files. So everyone had a basic idea of what is in the books. They took pictures of the books for summer reading (including a contracted consultant who had been called in for my son's case). (Abridged version of the document I sent them can be found here)

Last I heard, they've been passing the books around over the summer. My son's after school care bought more copies of the book after reading the copy I gave them and purchased "Raising Human Beings" as well. They are planning on switching their discipline strategy based on what they had learned.

I've started gathering more copies of the book for this year, along with "Lost and Found". I'm planning to get them into the hands of the district's special education management team somehow and giving them to my daughter's new daycare. I am considering making up cards with the book titles and authors on them so I can hand them out if I see parents who need a new strategy... Seriously, if the whole world used this lens for every human they interacted with, the world would be a much kinder place.