We did our Fetal Echo on Friday and after some wrangling, they were able to get good pictures. I have been feeling pretty OK with everything after a couple of weeks to process. So I felt pretty prepared for the situation. After the echo, the doctor came in and explained what we know based on the fetal echo (looking inside a body, to look inside a body to look inside a heart isn’t the clearest picture you’ll get).


So, we definitely have a complete AVSD. The valve is one big valve, but it doesn’t leak, which is apparently also a good thing. Finally, because the Aorta and Pulmonary Artery were both the same size, the overriding aorta may be less of a concern. The same sizes mean we probably don’t have to worry about Pulmonary Stenosis.

The current plan is to give birth at a hospital with a level III NICU. They will send over a cardiologist to evaluate the baby within a couple of days after the birth. I’m planning a natural child birth (Lord help me) so now it’s back to preparing for childbirth and whatever comes after!

I still worry occasionally about the 1/3 chance of Down Syndrome. But all we can do is wait and see.

Forward Thinking Worry

Before all this started, I was so worried about what could happen. Everything from cord accidents to SIDS to drunk driving 16 years from now would flash across my mind and I would worry. Now suddenly, all that is gone. Before, I was worrying about all the things that could happen tomorrow, now I’m just glad I have today.

You hear people who’ve had life changing events say that you just live for the day you have and let tomorrow take care of itself. I’ve tried to do that, albeit not very successfully. All of a sudden, I find it much easier. I find the change in perspective interesting, and to be honest I also find it refreshing. All that worrying was exhausting, things are somewhat simpler now. I’m not saying I don’t get intense flashes of worry, but it is worry about what is happening now at least. Something catastrophic (to me) has happened, the world is still turning, and we’re still dealing with it as best we can. All we can do is keep moving forward every single day and take what joy we are given. I hope this is a lesson I get to keep, it seems to be a good one.

This doesn’t mean I don’t plan for the future (for better and worse), nor does it stop me from researching the known issues that we are facing. What it does mean is that I’m a lot less stressed, and a lot more practical on what I choose to worry about.

My husband felt the baby kick for the first time this weekend, that was pretty dang cool.

Waiting is hard

This morning I was still riding the high of our decision to skip the amino. I called the Maternal Fetal Medicine group and cancelled that portion of the appointment. I updated the OB on the decision and then I called Children’s Mercy to try and figure out exactly what was going on and how things should go. After several calls back and forth the MFM group decided that they didn’t want us to come in and ask questions, instead they would rather we consult on the phone with the genetic counselor and hold the medical questions until the Cardiologist appointment which we will have on May 14th. I updated the OB again and let them know we were just going to have a phone consult and wait on the rest. I had about 15 questions for the genetic counselor, she was able to answer some, but most have to wait until we can figure out what we are dealing with at the cardiologist. Waiting is hard, I’ve decided its time to go back to being happy to be pregnant and to just enjoy this process. There is nothing I can do to change what’s coming, I shouldn’t let that rob me of the joy of this experience.